I have been grappling this question for quite some days, and sadly the answer has been elusive to me; though I really worked out harder on finding the answer through the act of self-appreciation of the question the answer of which I wondered if it was worth answering or not.
Anyway, I don’t think that the kind of question that my mind gives birth to has sometimes actually any relevance for the time being, in the given context of my inability to think clearly or hazily some weird ideas which keep hitting my nerve like the blows of Khali hammering down the opponents in the ring cage. Alright let me come to the point – I have been thinking is there any really way, I mean for real, not to talk to anyone? Well, that’s quite understandable if you tend to share your logic, that it’s simply a matter of your willingness whether or not to talk to anyone, and if you don’t show such will, or maintain some stern taciturnity, that’s okay – people will get the drift you are not interested in talking. Maybe they will try to prod you for a while in anticipation of getting some talking from you, but won’t; if you keep on pulling out face.
Easy, isn’t it?
But that’s not I am thinking right now. I believe that even though you have some great ideas or common sense understanding that there is surely a way not to talk to anyone and much of it largely depends on your willingness. However, what if you want not to talk to anyone but are forced by a certain stroke of ill circumstances to talk, and cursing yourself why you have to do this, while all you wish at that moment of time, to take a damn rest, or watch the fucking world go by. It seems to me that something that you think you have control on is actually a far cry from the solution if you seek some answers to it.
That said, sometimes even the simplest question stumbles upon an unspeakable effrontery when you get to know that the answer to it lays in nowhere. Take, for instance, the question I have asked in the beginning of this post has its answer but my problem is that I am unable to find it, despite knowing how to have it. Sometimes I find myself on the verge of losing nerve when, despite my not interested in talking to anyone, am forced to join the godforsaken tidbits of neighbors/friends who appear to be ecstatic about their new job or some encounter of fortunate moments or anything esoterically nonsensical.
Even though I cut somebody very talkative dead in public places like a bus stop, instead of no conversation, I get a face right in front of me, teeth showing up in the form of some weird denture at a dental clinic. Why man? What the heck have I done wrong to you? Can’t you see I’ve cut you dead which means I am not interested in talking to you? So, stop showing your smiling face and troll elsewhere! Did I really pluck the courage to say that? Hell, no! I feel sort of not showing such an erratic conduct to anyone, but just curse myself to be the victim of my own innocence and gentility that is costing me of the coveted pleasure of remaining silent, in the confined space of my own, away from gangs of pontificators.
I have recently been to a place where I was virtually ambushed by the gangs of people who wanted to talk to me on the subject I had barely read about. They just wanted to know how someone answers something he knows nothing about. I just can’t recall what the question was exactly but I recall well that my impromptu answer which involved some weird confabulations of the unknown spun-out tale was actually a rib-tickling fun tale, wishing I was never there to have myself forced to talk against my will.
It is really weird when you want something so desperately but is robbed out of you because of your too much innocence. Even though I wear stern face and put on a hard expression on my face, believing that could dispel people away and I would save myself from talking, I have to talk because other guys don’t like having their request unanswered. I am still trying to find the answer to how not to talk to anyone.
Narratives expressed herein project my esoteric sense of joviality.
Good night, readers!