Saturday, April 1, 2017

How not to talk to anyone

I have been grappling this question for quite some days, and sadly the answer has been elusive to me; though I really worked out harder on finding the answer through the act of self-appreciation of the question the answer of which I wondered if it was worth answering or not. 

Anyway, I don’t think that the kind of question that my mind gives birth to has sometimes actually any relevance for the time being, in the given context of my inability to think clearly or hazily some weird ideas which keep hitting my nerve like the blows of Khali hammering down the opponents in the ring cage. Alright let me come to the point – I have been thinking is there any really way, I mean for real, not to talk to anyone? Well, that’s quite understandable if you tend to share your logic, that it’s simply a matter of your willingness whether or not to talk to anyone, and if you don’t show such will, or maintain some stern taciturnity, that’s okay – people will get the drift you are not interested in talking. Maybe they will try to prod you for a while in anticipation of getting some talking from you, but won’t; if you keep on pulling out face.

Easy, isn’t it?

But that’s not I am thinking right now. I believe that even though you have some great ideas or common sense understanding that there is surely a way not to talk to anyone and much of it largely depends on your willingness. However, what if you want not to talk to anyone but are forced by a certain stroke of ill circumstances to talk, and cursing yourself why you have to do this, while all you wish at that moment of time, to take a damn rest, or watch the fucking world go by. It seems to me that something that you think you have control on is actually a far cry from the solution if you seek some answers to it. 

That said, sometimes even the simplest question stumbles upon an unspeakable effrontery when you get to know that the answer to it lays in nowhere. Take, for instance, the question I have asked in the beginning of this post has its answer but my problem is that I am unable to find it, despite knowing how to have it. Sometimes I find myself on the verge of losing nerve when, despite my not interested in talking to anyone, am forced to join the godforsaken tidbits of neighbors/friends who appear to be ecstatic about their new job or some encounter of fortunate moments or anything esoterically nonsensical.

Even though I cut somebody very talkative dead in public places like a bus stop, instead of no conversation, I get a face right in front of me, teeth showing up in the form of some weird denture at a dental clinic. Why man? What the heck have I done wrong to you? Can’t you see I’ve cut you dead which means I am not interested in talking to you? So, stop showing your smiling face and troll elsewhere! Did I really pluck the courage to say that? Hell, no! I feel sort of not showing such an erratic conduct to anyone, but just curse myself to be the victim of my own innocence and gentility that is costing me of the coveted pleasure of remaining silent, in the confined space of my own, away from gangs of pontificators.

I have recently been to a place where I was virtually ambushed by the gangs of people who wanted to talk to me on the subject I had barely read about. They just wanted to know how someone answers something he knows nothing about. I just can’t recall what the question was exactly but I recall well that my impromptu answer which involved some weird confabulations of the unknown spun-out tale was actually a rib-tickling fun tale, wishing  I was never there to have myself forced to talk against my will.

It is really weird when you want something so desperately but is robbed out of you because of your too much innocence. Even though I wear stern face and put on a hard expression on my face, believing that could dispel people away and I would save myself from talking, I have to talk because other guys don’t like having their request unanswered. I am still trying to find the answer to how not to talk to anyone.

Narratives expressed herein project my esoteric sense of joviality.

Good night, readers!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Pot calling the kettle black

I was nearly a nut job in childhood. Piked up fights with friends, beat down my classmates and used to steal things like the gregarious bunch of some kleptomaniac freaks. Instead of exercising atonement over my childhood notoriety, I felt elated over vandalizing things on provocation.

"If you don't pull up your socks and behave, things will be difficult for you in future," - used to say my mom after some gentle mild rebukes over my mischievousness. "I will beat the shit out of you the next time i hear complain from neighbors. You got my point?" - used to say my father who seemed to lose his temperament the moment he heard complains from people about my intractable childhood mischief.

When mom rebuked, it was understandable for me that she was in pain for my action. She is a woman of substance I must say. But when father said something in saintly advisory tone, i simply looked at him in amazement, wondering what made him so wise today. I was unable to get his sermons because his erratic manner was well-know to everyone. I was wondering how come someone having already earned a notoriety because of his bad manner could ever take the helm of being a sagacious sounding priest. Well my father is not that bad, it is his going nuts at anything/anyone that may sound hurting his ego.

At present, i am working in a company as a TEAM HEAD in digital content department. When I was appointed for the job, expectations were high that Pawan (that's me) would handle the pressing needs of the department (which were to manage the work backlogs, handle team and facilitate departmental coordination). It's been three months since I have been doing the job and if i am correct in my ergonomic analysis, i concur that I have done a good job, if not the very fabulous one.

This is because I have, so far, handled everything that was expected of me, except on the point that i refused to kowtow to people outside my team and who were trying to dominate me with their conspicuously pronounced superiority complex.

My temperament is kind of unpredictable, but it flares up like a needle of a barometer when it is contacted in the heat temperature. The problem is not that I am having such temper but sometimes I just dont know how to manage it and keep it under control. Anger in me triggers upon provocative advance of someone. However, what is strikingly unique deportment in me is that I feel remorseful after pacified anger of mine and tend to approach to the victim of my indignation with folded hands or in a gesture signifying conciliatory approach from me.

In this company I have met different types of guys with different temperament. There is this guy whose behavior is beyond my ken to judge in, you know, in a certain behavioral pattern. This guy is very interesting, not because he is another ordinary person doing his 9 hours of job like his peers, but because his manner is quite eccentric....and weirdly awkward. I sometime call it "intrusive".

This guy did all what he thought was best he could in order to just make me feel to be in awe with his domineering personality. I refused to oblige, bluntly. This guy seems a big fan of religious devotion and he often braggarts of his devotion for the divinity, wanting to know people his piousness.

I, for one, think - "how come someone be pious as said or held in such belief on the premise that his action is quite in contrast to his pronounced piousness?'

How could someone having malice in heart for others could pompously blow his divine reverence? Okay forget the reverence, how could someone trust his words belying his true nature or temperamental rudeness?

Most importantly, "How could someone like him expects or rather talks about respect if he shows none for others?"

Recently I was traveling in a bus to my office. I saw one of my fellow passengers stealing a furtive glance over a girl who was engrossed in her book, unaware of the stealth ogling. Few minutes later, the man turned to a lady with a kid, motioning her to get up and follow him which was an indication that the man wanted the lady and the kid to get down from the vehicle. I realized right away that they were couple.

Suddenly, when the man was escorting his wife to the driver's cabin (usually this cabin leads to the exit gate), another passenger looked at his wife's cleavage which did not escape to the watchful stare of his hubby who thought the glance a perverted attempt of the passenger. He snarled at him and was about to hold him by collar when other passengers meddled in and pacified the fight which was to occur.

The incident left me thinking of the weird encounter of poetic justice that just unfolded.

Few days ago i came across a news citing the statement of Rahul Gandhi, denouncing each and every initiative of Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, calling him good for nothing for the country. I just smiled, thinking of it another political stunt blurted in jest, for Congress dynasty and some of its initiatives taken in their governance are still held in mockery.

Recently I was preaching to someone about the importance of anger management, then smiled at me. "An angry boy teaching anger management!"

But then, it hit me really hard - why not?

Only the victim of an accident can preach someone the importance of driving carefully, and not in tanked physical as well as mental state.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Tenacity perfects your writing, Here's why


I do not buy credo of the people bloviating that writing can’t be done easily. I had not approved to this thought either, that writing was too difficult a task, and you can't execute your "intangible thoughts" into their factual manifestations as it is demanding, skill-based job which means, it can be done by those having experiential insight in creative writing.

As a matter of fact, writing, or content writing, or creative writing is surreal mix of science and art. Therefore, you as a writer, have to get along with your manuscript creatively, in such a fashion demonstrative of the fact that you are unconditionally and passionately committed to it.

In the meantime, what I think is a writer should never leave writing holding the baby, just because he is getting fed up with the ill-treatment and mockery his craft receives from naysayers and pedantic critiques.

If you ask me, it is unwise to see yourself from naysayer's standpoint.

Yeah, you might be thinking I am nut, and some of you even sneer at me with "Easy said than done, pal!" 

Well, I can't argue with you if you think something like that, but let's just face it. If you think you are about to give up on writing just because you feel disappointed at your creativity not being rewarded enthusiastically as expected, just take a pause and look back.

Yes, LOOK BACK!

What do you see when you time-travel in the past? 

A zealot, crazy lunatic in pursuit of excellence in his niche!

I know you might be smiling.

Okay, go on! It's good to see your ‘former-self’ at least committed to his belief, and most importantly, committed tenaciously to his passion (passion for writing).


The recollection in the past is not merely getting peer-reviewed journal of your "Mr. committed-self", but it is also a gentle reminder of you having come to this far, up here, among community of fellow-writers, known and acknowledged.

So, whenever painful thinking strikes you, and you feel your pluck being sliced by half of its former size, try to inject this feeling into you - "I've come this far, up here, and it's all because of my tenacity to fulfill my dream of being a good writer in future."

I know it will be hard for you at first, especially when the mind is engulfed with the whirlwind of unsavory thoughts containing negative elements, then of course it is very difficult to think positively head-on.

But then again, practice makes everything perfect, doesn't it? So, the point is, you need to replace your "slowly developing negative thoughts" with"positive and inspiring" ones which will essentially make you think sanely and you will be able to figure out what needs to be done to correct your writing mistakes, so that you can be known and acknowledged, again!

Here, I'd like to recommend - be tenacious!

You see, writing is just like any sports which demand practice, and most importantly, the tenacity which means - keep on keeping on!

If legendary cricketers like Sachin Tendulkar, Brian Lara and even Sir Don Bradman had not been tenacious and instead had given up on their cricketing career, don't you think they would not have been known and respected figures as they are today?

As a matter of fact, the power of tenacity is it takes you to the level of perfection in your niche and makes you confident and you start to see yourself from positive perspective.

In my point of view, people become negative about their niche when they see it is not being acknowledged as it is supposed to be, or it is acknowledged contrary to their expectation.

It is because sometimes people pull up a face after seeing your craft, thus giving you a non-verbal cue that there's something to be corrected in your craft, even though you believed you've done everything necessary to perfect the same.

Sadly, the very non-acknowledgment of your niche as a writer is the causal factor of your unemployment or joblessness at present. This is where negative thoughts start to breed in your mind, especially when you think of them for long, and let a part of your personality approve to the fact that you're good for nothing.

That's the breeding ground of negativity in the mind; letting it grow up, and it really grows up fast in such a fertile mental land. Tenacity helps you avert negative thoughts, as you occupy your mind into something far better and important than those 'moral-waning' thoughts.


Psychologically speaking, when you put your mind in gear and your work becomes the fixated point of your mind's attention, then no thought of negative element will ever render damage onto your sagacity, as you allow no room for such thought to rest in there.

Therefore, if you seriously want to be a good writer, known and valued, you have to respect your niche, and by that what I mean to imply is - be devoted to it and continuously, without fail, add values to it.Your being tenacious will eventually lay the groundwork of improved efficiency in your creativity.

You see, when perfection comes, it doesn't come without certain degree of labor and focused commitment dedicated to it.

Think of those great people whose tenacity brought them into spotlight. Firstly they believed in their belief. Then, they were off to a journey to make the belief a reality. To actualize the former, they never gave up being tenacious, even though others saw their tenacity as rigidity.

Believe me, naysayers will always demean you. What matters essentially in between -will you make them believe they're right about you when you give up on your dream, OR will you prove them wrong by tenaciously following your predetermined path?

Choice is yours.

I call it - Hobson’s choice.

Be tenacious as it will afford excellence in your writing and there will come a day affording notable efficiency and excellence in your niche. Someone was right that practice trumps the talent, which according to my belief, is what sums up tenacity.

Note: The motive behind writing this article is to encourage my fellow-writers to pursue their dream tenaciously regardless of what their critiques judge them otherwise. Since the time (five years back) I took upon writing, I have been judged, sometimes with mockery, sometimes with praise. The notability in between is - I am still here, undeterred, standing firm in an unflinching determination to go on!

Monday, May 23, 2016

VLC Fix - How to remove horizontal green lines permanantely



VLC has been the most preferred media players for me, and I have been using it for many years. I switch to its upgraded versions whenever I am prompted to download the updates by the media player (I set it on "update latest version" mode). 

At present I am running on my Windows 7 PC the latest VLC media player 2.2.2 Weatherwax (64-bit for my Windows 7-OS).

As expected, the upgraded version of VLC runs smoothly on my PC and I am very satisfied with the performance  up until I noticed green horizontal lines on top and bottom of the vlc media player.

I thought that's okay to have it as it was not causing any problem as I was watching videos and playing MP3 files without any difficulty. But still I thought of searching for ways to remove the green lines, and I tried some random tips on my own, and eureka - I found the solution.

The technique worked for me like a magic and I am sharing it here for my readers, hoping they'd find the tips useful if they experience similar issue with the vlc media player as I have.

Tips to remove VLC green lines:

Click on Tools
Open Preferences tab
In simple preferences, select VIDEO
In Display section, uncheck "Use hardware YUV -> RGB conversions".
Click Save
Restart VLC.

That's it. 

Enjoy watching movies on VLC without the nagging green lines :)


Saturday, May 7, 2016

Misconceived Feminism


If someone imperious tries to be misandrist on the pretext of endorsing the doctrine of feminist, he/she needs psychiatric evaluation and those with the chronic disorder of supporting such doctrine must seek psychiatric evaluation as well, in my humble point of view.

What is the definition of feminist, tell me that?

Is it being supporting someone with female origin regardless of whether her own version of truth stands in the same wavelength of others? Or it is her not being able to handle characteristic flaws and therefore resorting uncalled for denunciation, call someone male by name and wash your dirty linen to media pleading innocence?

If you call this feminism, then and with all due respect, I can’t blithely escort to such misguided credo of feminism where ideology conflicts and sex in particular is given undue regards over hypothetical assumption of “patriarchal” society and male dominance, considered to be anathema (as once blithely claimed by Burkha Dutt and like-minded pseudo feminists).

Kangana, no matter how talented and gifted actress she is or she is regarded, on the basis of character and deportment, she’s just another raving stuck-up virago fanning up narcissism like a control freak or puerile lady. Firstly she spoiled Aditya pancholi blaming her of physical abuse despite the fact that there was surprisingly discomforting 20-yrs of age gap between the duo. Then she preyed upon Shekhar Suman's son, Adhyayan Suman and till date Shekhar and his wife ( curse the day their son attached the strings with beautiful Kangana.

She also started casual romance with Ajay Devgan started from Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai but thanks to Ajay’s sagaciousness the relationship died its natural end. My point? Not trying to be anti-feminist here, just stating the fact that please don’t use such great word to define a person not deserving the credit of it regardless of his/her cinematic success. Yes, it was her personal life and this is none of my business.

But if someone's discomforting past is overlooked just because another one is is celebrity male with somewhat equally discomforting past doesn't mean both the incidents can be balanced out by giving more benefits onto the other standing as female. We are humans and defending ourselves against accusative slurs or jibes is natural defense machinism, be it Kangana or Hrithik or anyone for that matter. What is seen as equitable and justified between is the accusation and the manner of counter-accusation. Alas! people as bystanders do not show much sagacity to be an impartial judge of the characters.

The life between REEL and REAL lacks perfect dichotomy necessary for making you a real human being and that makes you standout in real way. For example, I admire Majoj Bajpayee and others like him because of their sensibility of persevering relationship off the media claws and off the vile glare of attention-seeker public (pseudo feminist).

Some words about me

I am married. My wife is a moderately educate, down to earth but very intelligent angel. It’s been a privileged to have married such a great elf. You know what I like in her – simplicity and candid speaking manner. She means what she means and follows her words. I take advice from her to show my gratitude how great I am to have her in my life. When I connect this useless Bolly-creepy-thingy stuff with my wife, I think she’s far more dignified than them. So what she’s not a celebrity? I don’t give a damn.
..........................

Kangana is arguably one of the greatest talents Indian Bollywood has ever got. However, it deportment and character to be considered, she will always stand corrected. That said, I mean it for hrithik too. But this guy is being made scapegoat of media’s carnivorous crave.

Perhaps none will give damn to his version of truth because our society adores women in distress no matter whether she is at fault, too.i guess those supporting kangana should support all those causes necessary for women empowerment in reality in our society. Being feminist to support already powerful lady at fault is not feminism.

Now India has almost forgotten what happened to Nirbhaya. How derisive is it that our so called feminist credo slowly fades out into oblivion after few days down the line. Like other stories, this one too (kangana-hrithik controversy) will fade out and then we so called erudite feminists will start digging other’s grave and call them misogynists. Great!
............
I may seem to have carried away in my take on the question, but consider it my personal viewpoint, and therefore it doesn't mean that my standpoint will agree to others holding otherwise different views on the matter. I'd love hearing from you dear guys.

The post was my answer to a question on Quora.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness



...and why not?

The evolution of human beings took so much time just on the basis of the received wisdom, that they were afraid of accepting CHANGE or acclimatisation. A mind preoccupied with fear from thunderstruck at night, howls of beasts nearby and the fearsome sight of the fire was too hard to be convinced to accept the change, and which is why evolution of human being (as i concur) was prolonged process.

This quote is reminiscent of that evolution.

Men were confined in their sense of fear, and therefore they were unable to acclimatize to the new surroundings posing as threat to their long-held superstitions. The cavemen never took the trouble of coming out of their hideouts at nights filled with spooky sounds of thunders/wolves/lions or wild animals.

And when they mustered up courage, tried to evolve with the things around, they learnt that many things or beliefs they were so blithely held up were counterfactual credo.

So, they busted many myths later through the course of their evolution by learning reality of their superstitions.

The moot point is - your mind caged by a thought not allowing you to think broadly or out of the box will make you a narrow-minded fellow who will judge anything as per your own assumed reality.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Writing - Should I pursue online creative writing course?



If the ability to write creatively were possible through courses, the world would rather have become the hub of institutes imparting knowledge on creative writing skills. Can’t deny the veracity of some institutes though, but if you ask me I never went for online creative writing course, or will not do so in future as well. 

Why? 

To my empirical insight, writing is more ‘application of your thought in the fashion that is semantically unique’ than ‘application of an imposed thought-pattern that is semantically artificial and sometimes an esoteric imposition’

This is why the world is fraught with countless writers bereft of distinctive flair in writing, but very few (finger-countable) ones who are truly gifted in their niche. As self-explanatory as it seems, success kisses the latter while oblivion is the reward of the former.

You will, if you Google down your query, receive deluge of pros and cons discourses arguing whether or not creative writing course leads to successful outcome of making the course-pursuer a talented and gifted writer, creatively. But my standpoint will always be in the antithesis of those viewpoints supporting such online creative writing course by claiming that notable efficiency comes if 
pursuer follows it with dedication. That is true, dedication definitely affords excellence, but isn't that true as well that self-practice with dedication affords the same level of excellence?

I barely got flummoxed like others when I read statement of Creative writing professor Hanif Kureishi condemning to his guts, that creative writing courses are 'a waste of time' (Creative writing professor Hanif Kureishi says such courses are 'a waste of time').
Quandary that most pursuers like you may encounter is the reliability of these courses. 

Over the last seven months, I have been receiving a mail from a UK-based institute (I’ve spammed it), attempting to persuade me to enroll for its creative writing course (can’t disclose the name on account of my morality). Well, the institute seems genuine on prima facie, as I have come to know various positive reviews supporting its veracity. 

However, I didn't bulge. I didn't get influenced.

I believe, and I have shared my empirical understanding about creating writing in many articles/blogs of mine, that writing is all about writer’s creative expression, and this expression is an acquired taste. It can’t be instilled in you through inculcated practice of your tutor until you are docile

And if you are docile, then believe me, you will never need your creativity being shaped by others – you will architect it by yourself...through dedicated practice and learning from others (seniors/known writers etc.). 

So, are online writing courses irrelevant? 

Well, as far as I concur, this depends on your docility, dedication quotient and financial condition (for sure this doesn't come cost-free). There were also some comments opposing viewpoint of Hanif, and some of them resonate my views as well. 

For instance, I agree with Matt Haig’s standpoint when he said - I do think some people will never be writers. Just like some people will never be architects or web designers. But good writing courses will help you work out if you are a writer or not." 

There are writing courses that can inflict changes in your relationship with the language (writing). 

So, the decision is all yours. 

If you intend to learn it on your own, then just flush out your ego and learn from mistakes. Keep on, as persistence is the reward of an improved talent and notable efficiency in creating writing. Hard work is always the blessing in disguise.